| ive never been this close to just giving up completely.
i don't understand why this is so hard for me or why i just can't feel remotely happy.
being here just makes me feel so alone, like nobody even gives a fuck about me anymore.
i want so much for this just to end. anything to make this end.
to bad im to much of a fucking puss.
i used to be so gutsy. where did that go.
i just want to end this.
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| "the first month is always the hardest"
kay ive been here for a month and its still hard.
ive been making myself sick im so miserable.
but im doing a good job at pretending to be happy.
i love my friends here though. thank god i found them or else i would have killed myself by now.
but i wanna go back to highschool. (did i really just say that?) wow.
i hate the fact i dont know what i want to do with my life anymore...besides nothing, that is.
oh i broke up with that guy. he had issues. hahahahahaha.
maybe im just too much of a bitch and to picky and im never gonna be happy with anyone.
what the fuck is wrong with me.
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| i still hate college.
i have a boyfriend now though.
although. i dont know how i feel about that.
i think i might be telling myself i like him, just so it might help me enjoy being there more.
thats kinda wrong. ugh.
its never simple is it?
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| ive been at college for almost a week now.
i dont really like it.
homesick is the only thing i feel. kay thats it.
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| i leave for college this month. and right now i have no idea if meteorology is what i wanna do.
but i guess its all part of the experience.
things are good. yay for positive attitudes and amazing friends.
this summer definatley isnt as great as the last one. but thats because me and michael arnt dating like then. but im starting to realize how to be happy without him.
god. it only took me forever..
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